


Prayin'

by SpookyMiscreant



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andrew is not in this because this is gushy and emotional, I love andrew he just wouldn't want to be anywhere near this, fluffy foxes, so much love in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 13:57:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11761350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpookyMiscreant/pseuds/SpookyMiscreant
Summary: The foxes are out one night and Prayin' by Kesha comes on.





	Prayin'

**Author's Note:**

> I highly recommend listening to the song! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLR3Gqz5PEs

“This one’s for all broken hearted people out there!” The DJ’s voice called out.

Neil could barely hear the melancholy beat that poured out of the numerous speakers that surrounded the dance floor. He was currently squashed between Matt and Dan as they somehow found a way to dance together across Neil’s mildly resisting body. Dan’s back was to Neil’s front while Matt’s back was to Neil’s back. Both of their rears were swaying against him to the beat when Kevin Day suddenly ran up to Neil and grabbed his shoulders.

“Neil! Neil!!!! NNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIILLLLLL!!!!” Kevin shouted, even though Neil was already looking at him before he’d even spoken.

“What Kevin?” Neil asked, his eyes rolling minutely.

“I _love_ this song!!!” Kevin bellowed.

Dan and Matt exchanged pitiful looks over his head before they looked back to Kevin and smiled supportively. Neil didn’t understand why until he heard the opening lines as they spilled out of Kevin’s very drunk mouth.  

 

“ _Well, you almost had me fooled_

_Told me that I was nothing without you_

_Oh, but after everything you've done_

_I can thank you for how strong I have become_ ”

Kevin sang into the mouth of his bottle as if it was a microphone, his eyes closed and his body swaying along.

 

Renee slipped her fingers into Kevin’s as she, too, joined in,

 “ _’Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell_

_I had to learn how to fight for myself_

_And we both know all the truth I could tell_

_I'll just say this is I wish you farewell_ ”

Neil knew why Kevin liked this song. Neil now understood the look Dan and Matt had shared. Kevin was singing so passionately to an abuser he’d never be able to fight again. One that had lied to and belittled him for their entire lives. Neil had been the one to push Kevin to prove to himself that he was more than his abusers, more than his abuse. And here he stood declaring to the world and himself that he was better, happier, stronger.  Neil saw the same rage and sorrow and pain in Renee’s eyes as well. Neil knew that Renee, too, had her abusers on her mind as she closed her eyes and sang with every bit of strength she had. Neil knew Renee had been torn apart and remade into something colder. That she had to struggle every day to fight against what they made her. They’d put her through hell, but she was the one who’d walked out of the flame and into the light.

Neil’s entire focus had boiled down to Kevin and Renee, but he was reminded of where they were when the entire bar boomed with broken voices.

 

“ _I hope you're somewhere prayin’, prayin'_

_I hope your soul is changin', changin'_

_I hope you find your peace_

_Falling on your knees, prayin'_ “

It sounded like every single person there was singing with the force of their entire being, as if every one of them had someone on their mind.

 

Nicky approached the bubble the Foxes had created in the sea of dancers and threw his arm around Kevin’s waist as he closed his eyes too and started singing as well. Sing his dirge for the parents who cast him aside, for the people who still try to tell him he was an abomination, a mistake. Nicky would stand against them all and wish them well. He no longer needed anyone’s praise, he knew who was and he was damn proud of the things he’d done to get him here.

Nicky’s voice rang out strong and full of so  much emotion that Neil was not surprised when he saw tears running down Nicky’s stunning tanned cheeks,

 “ _I'm proud of who I am_

_No more monsters, I can breathe again_

_And you said that I was done_

_Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come_ ”

 

 

_“ 'Cause I can make it on my own_

_And I don't need you, I found a strength I’ve never known_

_I’ll bring thunder, I'll bring rain, oh-oh_

_When I’m finished, they won't even know your name.”_

 Neil hadn’t seen Aaron approach, but he knew who’s voice was cascading over the rest. Neil saw the broken unhealed wound of a mother lost in Aaron’s fierce eyes, and knew that the same look shone in his own. Aaron, who struggled against the shackles that branded him an abused child, would fight against his past, his pain, with his last breath. He was more than his abuse, more than his struggle. He was fire and fury and he would stand tall against the world.

Dan and Matt had left Neil and now were holding each other as they threw their heads back and belted out the chorus,

“ _You brought the flames and you put me through hell_

_I had to learn how to fight for myself_

_And we both know all the truth I could tell_

_I'll just say this is I wish you farewell”_

 

Neil felt such a strong pull of affection for his captain as she held tightly to Matt and bellowed each syllable. It was easy to forget that Dan had been put through hell. A different hell than the others, one of helplessness and desperation. One that she truly did have to learn to fight, and survive, for herself.  Neil saw Matt’s honey eyes flash in the light as he screamed about truths he could tell. Neil knew Matt had yearned to expose the things his father was putting him through when he was younger to his mother, and grew to regret not seeking her help. Neil also knew that Matt would keep his truths hidden to protect those he loved. That Matt had kept his truths hidden from his mother, the only one who loved him so as to not burden her. And to protect the father, who he might not speak to or about but still loved with the love a young boy would always have for his father, his idol.

 

The entire bar rose up again as they sang the chorus again,

_“I hope you're somewhere prayin’, prayin'_

_I hope your soul is changin', changin'_

_I hope you find your peace_

_Falling on your knees, prayin'”_

 

Allison was now standing beside Renee, her arm wrapped around Renee’s shoulders, her hand reaching for Neil’s. He twined their fingers and squeezed her hand lightly as she tilted her head to the ceiling and a tear slid down her face.

“ _Oh, sometimes I pray for you at night_

_Someday, maybe you'll see the light_

_Oh, some say, in life, you're gonna get what you give_

_But some things only God can forgive”_

Neil didn’t know if she was singing to the parents that abandoned her or singing for the boy the world had turned against.

Allison seemed like she had the easiest life out of all of the foxes, but she too had known loss and desperation and strife. She too had been dealt a hand she had not deserved. Maybe she was singing for Seth, who’d gave too much too soon and lived the rest of his life devoid of kindness and light burning with a fury that only Allison was immune to. Maybe she was singing to parents who had thrown her away for her own ambition and wants. Parents who had treated her more like a doll than like their daughter. Parents that still wouldn’t speak to her, that would prefer to pretend she didn’t exist.

Neil looked at his family, most crying, as they swayed and held each other tightly, and he felt such warmth fill him that it blinded him.

_I hope you're somewhere prayin', prayin'_

He thought of their pain, of their happiness, of their anger. But he also thought of their forgiveness. They’d all been hurt so often by so many and yet they all believed in change, in a better world.

_I hope your soul is changin', changin'_

Neil thought of Riko, and of his father. They did not deserve to be in a better world. They did not deserve to see a moment like this one, filled with so much undiluted love for each other. He thought of each of their demises, heard the shots, heard their knees hitting the ground as they fell. Renee believed in Hell, and when it came to his father and Riko, Neil liked the thought of that.

Neil found himself singing the last two lines,

_“I hope you find your peace_

_Falling on your knees, prayin' “_

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I literally cried the entire time I wrote this. rip me.


End file.
